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Innerworld

As we move into the last phases of the upgrade for the Human Soul we enter the ‘Womb-hole”  as I call it.  We are not skipping or running now, We Fly!  Not the typical wormhole but the bright and beautiful  birth canal for the New Humanity, the Luminous Being.  A flying Species~ A entirely new engineering from which we have no conscious understanding.

WE, The Light Body Self that is communicating through our Inner God Connection when we enter the higher frequencies.   So many messages we  have received, so much time we have been given.  So many ego trips and journeys we have been on since the beginning.

Now is the time of Soul’s Reckoning ready or not.  As I enter into this magic Womb hole I recognize I am flying through another dimensional space- time warp- I “know” this calling, this soaring.  This beckoning.  This reaching out from MY…

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Posted July 26, 2012 by rhajaranijewel in Uncategorized

Latest Divine Mother News   Leave a comment

After about a year and a half of being back in Canada from Bali, I can look back on my experience with much appreciation in fact.  It is 2012 and my spiritual dial is turned up to the top notch.  There is not time left to figure out what I have to do to manifest the vision.  All I have dreamed of in the past 40 something years is about to culminate into a New Reality, I believe.  There is not much time left now –  What is left is faith.  Faith is the Divine knowing that it is happening as I have always known and felt.  It is all about holding that higher vision and frequency of Love and Light.

My blog is now at Innerworld -http://innerworldawakening.wordpress.com/  My virtual Ashram of Awakening~  Please join with me there as the journey continues on til Dec 21, 2012.

Joy and Light,

Jewel Rhajarani

Posted January 26, 2012 by rhajaranijewel in Uncategorized

Homeward bound!   1 comment

Uluwatu~Temple on the Cliffs

Well, my Divine Family, Friends and Light Beings-  I am Home ward bound.  Homeland security has officially checked me back into the USA~

I sit at the San Francisco airport now awaiting my last flights home, north bound.

Wow, oh Wow!  What an amazing experience this has all been!

Sita from the dance of the Ramayana I saw my last night in Bali.

I wanted a change and I got it for sure!  Divine Mother has shown me so much of  myself and  all I am about in this existence on planet earth this time around.  A big Lesson!

About money, love, renunication. my self esteem and lifelong issues and of course, about   God,  and my lifelong dream!   All rolled into one enormous ball of  inner wisdom, discovery and incredible connectedness with all that is.  Source. Teacher, inner Guru.  Smiling  at me right now inside my heart.  A cosmic laugh, a little joke they played on me, or I played on myself!

I left 7 weeks ago from the United States of America because I was tired and fed up with the whole system, the corrupt  money grubbing life of this western world.  Only to find out this doesn’t go away when you leave to go someplace else!  Of course not!  This is going on EVERYWHERE!  It is the way of this planet.   What a naive person i was!  (ok, I admit, I am)

I thought I would find a spiritual place where all this just melts away, and real loving people and spiritual reality would envelop me and take me into the fold so to speak. Into this place outside time and space to that field that Rumi speaks about in his poem…..  A place   that is more kind, loving and more  real then  the way people are and live here in the western world.   I came to the raw and real understanding that this just does not exist in 3-d world, as much as I so want it to.

If it does it would really surprise me after what I saw out there in these past 7 weeks, the disappointment I felt. I know I am the creator of my own reality and this was the reality I was to experience.  It could have been way different for someone else, I admit that straight out.   This was how it was for me.

When I first got to Bali I was hopeful that I would find a ‘place’ like what I see in my vision  of heaven on earth.  I would find   ‘Real’  love oriented people,   ‘heaven’ building people, kind, caring interested people.  I found  people interested in making money from me.  They seemed to only be interested in how much I was gonna be able to ‘give’ to  them.   I realize people need money, ok, OK!   God, isn’t that sad, I even have to say this here?   I am shamed actually.

me at the UluWadu Temple yesterday

The one woman there  that I was interested in meeting because she is building the ‘Heaven on Earth Temple’  the lovely woman that created the ‘God Gene’ mandala, she seemed real enough.  However authenticate and  divinely inspired  she appeared  to be, from what I saw and felt she had  just created  nice commercial  enterprise out of the ‘spiritual stuff’ for herself and was living it out in Bali.   I didn’t get she was was   interested in   sharing any of this heaven temple  with me, unless I was gonna pay, or that she  really cared about why I had come here, or what  I was about.  I will admit I was saddened about this.

When after I shared with her I was there on a budget and a spiritual quest without alot of money to spend, she no longer connected with me.

I really think she just saw me as someone not spiritually developed enough for her trip  since I had not created enough  abundance to take her mystery course for $400.  In other words  I was lower on the spiritual evolution ladder. because I had yet to create abundance for myself,  I guess that is the indication of how evolved on is!?

So I felt she was neither interested, or curious about what I was doing there or who I really was.   Whatever it was she was too busy for me it seemed.  I don’t know all this could very well be because I am a super sensitive Soul to all of this.

When I went places that so called spiritual people hang out, it felt to me like  the ego in the guise of this  ‘spiritual’ facade going on .   I Just didn’t get a friendly vibe from most of the foreigners here in Bali, especially the so called ‘spiritual’ ones.    It seemed fake.    Even the woman that rented me the first house in Bali.  She was super friendly as long as I was gonna rent from her, but once I was not going to be a tenant, the energy toward me  totally changed.   Of course she might have been angry because I didn’t feel comfortable in her house.    She then had no time to get together,  getting to know me or sharing Bali with me.   She could not make the time to even have lunch for one hour, I thought this a bit strange.   I really wanted to make connections with other spiritual seekers in Bali, I really thought I did anyway!!

So I found few  foreigners or expats  there  I felt were authenticately  connecting in  to Divine Oneness the way in which I had hoped to find.   Like a kindred Soul friend!   I think alot of this was I was up against this money issue haunting me.  I couldn’t do all these cool things due to the cost of everything.  What a limitation I was dealing with!  I vowed never again will I travel to a foreign land as a  renunciate trying to make on on $10 a day or something.  How ridiculous I was to think it was all just going to magical work out.    Silly me!

I had this vision of people here that were living that dream of heaven on earth here in Bali and living in  the truth of their True Self, which was what I had gone there hoping to find and connect into. ( yes, Astrea is doing this here. on her own level…I believe)  Like I was gonna find this big, happy Soul family or something!   What was I thinking for Goddess sake?  Right now I feel like a big fat idiot and a fool but that is all part of my lesson isn’t it?

However, I did find that on some level a beautiful energy of kindness  within the network of  the local  Balinese  people.  These people  are  such beautiful Souls.  Truly, kind, heatfelt people,  and most of them very poor.  What does that tell you?

I loved their connection to the Gods, even though most of them just do it all out of tradition not even knowing what it all means, daily going through the motions of the religion of their forebearers.  I am not sure if they are having a  deep connection to  God inside themselves per say, but it is a beautiful tradition regardless.

After all this is a lifestyle  religion based on  giving offerings to higher Beings, the gods of this land.

Driver and Guide, Made

Which I thought was so beautiful!   I love that culture so much and I am so glad I got to spend 7 weeks there experiencing that.  Wow!  and the Temples everywhere.  It is truly an amazing gift to God they are giving.

I found my guide and driver, Made to be one of the most ‘real’ spiritual people I met on the entire trip.  A beautiful Soul.  I loved our chats  about spirituality and the Gods we had as he drove me around.

At the temple Uluwatu the last day I spent there, I sat and meditated for about 20 minutes.  I was enthralled with the vision I received and felt downloaded to me.

I was being re-filled.  My first temple  meditation  vision  at  the Mother Temple showed me simply and precisely  that I was there on Bali to empty myself.  To release all that I had been holding onto for the duration of this life.  All the  old beliefs.

This time when I went into this space it was like a refilling was taking place.  I had a visitation from Hanuman, the monkey God of this Hinduism.  He showed me the love of God had filled my entire heart cavity and stretched out over everything.  hanuman That I needed to empty it all in order to refill and that was why I came here.

I was being filled and remade it seemed.  I asked the Divine LightBeings  to help me  on this journey.  I was told US help you?  Ha!  You are here to Help Us!  This is your job, you are helping Us to bring this HOME.   SO I  asked them, what can I do.  I knew then I had a big job left and the trip to Bali was by no means the end!

I still have a road ahead of me.  I know now that the time of my renunciation has come to an end.  I have a job to do on this earth and I will be guided to it because I still don’t know exactly what it is to be quite yet, but that is ok, I know now I am needed for something and that is enough for me to know right now.

I am open to new adventures, to love, to money, wealth and being a channel for the Higher energies coming in.

I still feel  between now and 2012  there is a HUGE shift underway.  I also still feel that  to have a sacred purpose to life  means everything, and is the main focus for everybody if one only tunes into it deep inside.  It can be found right here in the physical reality I feel now after what I experienced in Bali.

So the lesson for me is that  I will no longer be  trying to escape it in the way I was before.  the material world that is,  I feel this trip has shown me it is time for me to leap headlong into it, if you get what I mean.  It is time for me to stop sitting on the sidelines watching the game go down.  The money game, the ego game, the material reality game.  I cannot just deny it.  That is for sure,  I have to work it……so now I leap forward into doing something to enjoy this and make the most out of the life the God’s have given me here.  Or I have given myself it seems in the bigger cosmic scheme of this thing!!  Blessings Be!  This might or might now be the last post of this series,  I cannot say for sure what is next.  But thanks for anyone that went along this journey with me for the past 7 weeks and witnessed my struggle and all the beauty I discovered.

I so appreciate all of you!  Thank you from the bottom of this Heart!  In Love Oneness!

Jewel Rhajarani

Welcome to San Fran! Boy was that a welcoming sign~ Old home town

Posted October 22, 2010 by rhajaranijewel in Uncategorized

Duality   Leave a comment

“Every human being at some time had tragedy  enter his life ; it might be the destruction of a city, the death of a loved one, an unproved accusation, a sickness that left one lame forever. At that moment, God challenged one to confront Him and to answer his question” Why dost thou cling fast to an existence so short and so filled with suffering? What is the meaning of thy struggle?”

The man who did not know how to answer this question would resign himself, while another, one who sought a meaning to existence, feeling that God unjust, would challenge his own destiny, it was at that moment that fire of a different type descended from the heavens-not the fire that kills but the kind that tears down ancient walls and imparts to each human being his true possibilities. Cowards never allow their hearts to blaze with this fire; all they desire is for the changed situation to return quickly to what it was before, so they can go on living  theirs lives and thinking in their customary way.  The brave, however, set afire that which was old, and even at the cost of great internal suffering, abandon everything, including God, and continue onward.   ” The brave are always stubborn”.

From Heaven, God smiles contentedly, for it was this He desired, that each person take into his hands the responsibility for his own life.   F or the final analysis He had given His children the greatest gifts; the capacity to choose and determine their own acts.  Only those men and women with the sacred flame in their hearts had the courage to confront him.  And they alone knew that suffering and tragedy was not punishment but challenge.

From the Fifth Mountain by Paulo Coelho

I made this choice to let go and go forth turning everything over to Source as I knew it to be.  Everything is choice. Within your heart you are at this moment choosing to read this and it’s all part of the ultimate plan and we need to be awake whilst making our choices. Be conscious of the ultimate outcome, due to what we do. Have the vision to see what you are dreaming before you do it.

All of us have a varied perception of life but no matter how different this may be, we are all in agreement that things are changing constantly to be different from what we know. Part of our collective direction is the “hoping” of getting back what we have lost and this is keeping us in the past. Because we may not be sure of the future, we would rather have the comfort of knowing “something”, and what we know is the past. Unfortunately the collective past has been floored with bad more than good. So my heart says, why stay in the past. Now I realize I must believe in my future by manifesting my dream. I must have faith and let go, allowing Great Spirit’s divine flow to process the waves of inevitability.

We are spirit and we are infinitely connected to the web that Great Spirit weaves. What Great Spirit is dreaming is the ultimate purpose.

I have  been confronting  my own internal challenges while  in Bali.  Choosing this path of aloneness, awakening rather then the material focus.  What I have found is Duality in everything is constant.  This seems to be the one consistent aspect I am noticing.

Accepting what it is, what it means to ‘Let Go’ and ‘Let God’ …in all the aspects of my own inner Duality, while seeing it reflected back to me in the outer reality I have  been facing while here.

Bali is Duality at it most obvious.  So much Beauty mixed with  a whole lot of darkness.   Since we live in a world where both sides of the dichotomy are playing out the Divine Lila or cosmic play of  being fully in the human condition.  Bali is the Soul of  Mother Gaia,  The Divine Feminine.  There is no light without dark in the realm of 3-d duality human condition we are in.  The lesson i see once again. over and over again in my face, up close and personal.

Here  as is in everything human,  especially here in this rich fertile place, in this Land of the Gods it is both  sides of the light and the dark.  Bali  is so  that….. it is a little bit of Heaven and a little bit of Hell all rolled into one.  All the beauty, the green, the flowers, the lushness, the spirituality, the temples of Paradise on Earth and then there is the other side…..the  garbage everywhere,  the deep dark dirt, the rank  smells, the money greed distortion and tourism, poverty, the hellish side certainly is everywhere.  The Divine Deities, the Demons.   Is it all just a metaphor for life as it is right now?

-It certainly has been a fascinating lesson  for me if nothing else.     Hard but truth in it’s rawest.   They say we create our own reality with our thoughts, both conscious and unconscious and I know it’s true.   I have created this view, this experience in Bali. for myself.  I have seen both sides the beauty and the grime, and I have seen this in everything including myself on this trip here.  So what does it mean to have this in my face like this ?  This integration of the black and the white checkered cloth? The good, the bad, the light and the dark.  All a metaphor for the inner fires of transformation of our Soul in Duality.

All that has happened to me while I have been here, all the interesting issues i have come up against.

However I am aware Our world is out of balance, with masculine qualities and virtues still dominant – often even in women. Part of the larger Shift we’re all here to create is restoring balance.  This is happening within the whole of humanity’s inner collective.  No one is exempt from what Higher Self is  going through.  The reckoning of Duality.

That’s why it’s so important for us to connect with the deep Feminine, within us,  the qualities of being that can lead to a more reverential, connected, and honoring way of life. To bring Balance.

This was why I came here to this lush place was to connect to Mother Gaia and feel this and empty myself of all i no longer need, all the extra baggage of my 56 years of life.

Today i am packing, sorting out what I have to leave behind me here.  I had  an overweight suitcase on the way here, now I have to empty the best I can.  That is a test in itself.  What to let go of and leave here, what is so important that I have to bring along. This is like a releasing of all those parts of myself I came here with, that I no longer need to carry forward with.

What I really have gotten to experience here is this letting go process is all part of the Divine Mother coming in.    This is the reality I created.  I see it as my challenge to continue on keeping on after this year of letting go of it all, so I could fully embrace it  as Me, not seeking outside of myself anymore.  What is next?

So  what I have come to realize and understand about all this is that I can stay in the Divine Mother Temple in my heart no matter where I go to next – this Temple is always here,  Imagine being able to step into a sacred place at any time you wish, a sacred place within you where you can find solace and nurturing–no matter where you are.

This is what you can expect when you tap into the energy and gifts of The Divine Mother, The Divine Feminine within.  She is always with me no matter where I am.  I did know this before I left my home in Eugene a year ago, but I suppose I need this sojourn into the unknown to finally understand that deeply and fully.

The Diving Mother is one of the oldest and most powerful archetypes in the world.  So I have to really honor that She is who I am working with here inside of myself.

She holds  that unconditional love I truly was seeking, She offers  a deep embrace, and the willingness to sit with the unknown. She insists on our innate connection to nature, the celebration of the feminine gift to give birth and the sacred holding of sexuality. She holds the space for this  internal wisdom and the cycles of life. She never says no because there is not enough time, food, energy or love. In the world of the Great Mother, there is no scarcity–there is always enough, more than enough.  She is Divine Love, and what  I was always  seeking.

But she also burns with that Sacred Fire in her form of Kali and Sehkmet when that is what needs to happen, and that is happening as well.   She burns off the dross that is no longer for our highest purpose, and I came here to burn this off in the heat of Mother Bali. Purifying -Duality of Divine Mother in her Light and Dark side.   Encompassing all of it.  This has been my experience these past 7 weeks.  An encounter with Great Mother at her rawest, hottest and wettest form.

So, yes  this has been my confrontation with Goddess, but in a softer way really, not the harsh reality that  Paulo Coelho writes about in his  story  ‘the Fifth Mountain’, from the God of olden day, an intense, hard  God, Jehovah.  He writes in the book somewhere that the Gods change with the changing Humanity.  They have grown and changed as well.  At one time the gods were in their adolescence and now they are grown into adulthood, leaving behind the war games of those biblical times.   Although it is the same  lesson since time immemorial that humanity must open to and become. honed, emptied and reconciled with that fire of the  inner Light.

SO I have 2 more days  to finish this phase of my story.   To continue with this  form of the duality encounter  for a  little while longer while I am here, before I go back to the western dream, of money, finances, creating and dreaming the new dream.   😉

Of course where ever I go I will continue on until the Divine Mother is done with me, this Eternal Sacred Flame firing my Soul and rendering me clean…..xox

Posted October 18, 2010 by rhajaranijewel in Uncategorized

Yellow Flower   1 comment

 

Yellow Flower Cafe

 

This is my last Sunday in Bali ……..Sad but True!   So I went for a morning walk  to breakfast at a little organic place called the Yellow Flower.  These pics today are from my morning walk to the cute cozy spot.

Well,  The time is coming to a completion for me of something…… this trip if nothing else,  but  my inner calling is still not finished.  The merging with my Higher Self goes on and on…..maybe forever 😉

I came here almost 7 weeks ago because I had this intense  inner pull  to merge with God.  Have you ever had that?   Anyway, it was so strong what I had been  feeling this past few years  I needed to take some time off of everything I had been doing and go be in a spiritual place, on my own  to get closer to my Divine Self.  The ashram life I found out,  was not gonna do it for me, at least not where I went at first to Ananda, that did not fulfill the longing I had to go to a spiritual environment.  Maybe still to commercial or something?     I felt if i could just be alone someone fabulous, like Heaven on Earth and  focused on meditating, doing  yoga and eating healthy, tropical fruits, gave myself to the path of the spiritual life all this would fall into place.walk to yellow flower I could fully awaken and merge with the Beloved.  It made sense I could do it,  I felt it was calling me to it,

I couldn’t have been more wrong about  all of that.   It didn’t turn out how I imagined it would for one thing.

I would do it here  however  best I could,  What I have come  to realize  is that all that really didn’t matter after all.  All my thoughts about what i would or wouldn’t do to be spiritual and merge.  To awaken to my True Self.  I found I cannot just will it to happen,  It is a natural progression, and I can remain true to the calling and good in my heart and thinking .

The Divine calls US when She does  in the strangest of  ways and circumstances,  like in the biblical story of Elijah.  He followed his calling and inner  messages, but where did he get with it all?  To the desert.

Why oh why I came to Bali to figure this all out,   is completely  beyond my current  understanding  at this moment anyway,   to say the least.  I followed a calling inside myself. Just like Elijah spoke to Angels, I got messages too,  from GODDESS if you will.

Yes, I enjoyed Bali, and I am glad I came.  Did Divine Mother send me here for a reason?  Well that I do not know……. I may never have another chance to just up and leave for 7 weeks to a tropical place,  so regardless of the spiritual reason, I am glad I took the chance.     Even though I  came up against ALL  my issues more then anything else.  Oh yes,   I connected with God,  Divine Mother in all her Glory and Beauty here that’s for sure  ( I always do seem to do that OK)  and  mostly I had alot of realizations about life, my life and how I am.  Mostly about my own limitations.   (not that I didn’t know all of these already) This place   just really brought them out to be examined thoroughly.  Not the funnest thing to do for a vacation, but if you are a bonifide  spiritual seeker this is one way to spend  40 days, alone praying and meditating.  Not exactly the desert!  But alot of similarities to that for me.  Except lots of water!!  Thank you Goddess for water!  Even good clean drinking water delivered.

I look back at what happened here, what I did and didn’t do it makes little sense at the moment and maybe later I can say OH Wow that’s it!  That was why I did this or that is why I gave away everything I owned to go there!

For now not much makes sense to me.  I am just ready to move on now. Finish this phase of it.

Spiritually, I am still having experiences I cannot explain to anyone.  I close my eyes and I feel I am in a different world.  Still inbetween 2 realities.

keep walking .....So I suppose I will be until the final  curtain call.

Did I really  expect to find what I was looking for in Bali?

I guess I was hoping about it……Looking to manifest some dream Temple or  something,

Now I know I will stop looking for it outside of my own heart, that is the lesson.

I will eat what I want do yoga or not…… pray, chant and meditate,  yes when i feel it is calling me …but not because i feel if I don’t I will be off my spiritual path.   Because I am the Spiritual  Path….I AM the Spiritual Being I am seeking.  I AM the meditation the prayer, the Temple.  I AM the only one that cares or doesn’t care what t I do or do not  do to invoke the Divine Presence.  Does this make sense?  Do most my friends think I am a idiot for even trying to prove my Soul in this manner for this past year?

Anyway, with that said and done, I have had an experience of myself.  What else can I say about it?

I walked I prayed, I sang,   I cried, I meditated., I danced, I yoga-ized …I went to Temples, I shopped,  spent too much money,  I ate.  I read several  books, and yes I blogged!   I played the harmonium, and  i took alot of cold showers  and memorized the yoga postures all over again by their  Sanskrit names  ( which I can easily forget again in a few weeks if I stop doing them everyday)  Is that life in a nutshell or what?

I did not meet alot of spiritual friends  like I thought I might, nor did I  focus on learning the language, Bahasa Indonesian.  I wasn’t interested in putting all that into my head, just to forget it again when I left.  Will I ever come to Indonesia again?  I doubt it 😉

I did the batik.  I had  a purification, a Balinese healing, and a reflexology treatment.  I got 3 massages less then $10 each, and I made a whole bunch of papaya smoothies, and  I ate meals of  Nasi Campur vegetarian style!  Oh, and loved the Crispy fried Tempeh!  My favorite so far~

I brought a Vita Mix I could not use so I had to buy a $30 blender, such a waste of suitcase space!    I also brought a bunch of other things not needed in this climate or situation.  A part of me thought I was going to stay over the winter.  But, when I found out that getting an extended visa is more complicated then someone told me before coming,  I would have to leave to Singapore every 60 days and pay about an average of $50 a month for visa privileges on top of the trip and renewal costs.

 

Jalan jalan - means walking walking

 

Now I am just happy to be able to get out of here earlier then my ticket allowed.  I had to cancel my old ticket and pay for a change.  Luckily for me it was not going to cost $1800 which is what Travelocity told me  when I called them  on Skype to change it, which totally  shocked me!  When I bought the ticket they told me it might be up to $200 for a change.  I ended up paying $125 extra for a trip change.

Staying in Bali for the winter sounded so great to me when i was making the plans.  All those winters in Eugene in the rainy, wet cold  climate.  Right now, believe it or not  I am sooo looking forward to a cold rainy day!  ( i never thought I would feel this way, but here I am saying it)  I am not all that keen on the  hot, clammy weather here, where you can barely wear clothes.  I like clothes.  I like fall clothes, I like winter clothes.  I like down comforters and warm winter fires.  Don’t I sound like a little kid that realized that she was fine where she was all the time?  Damn!

But, I needed that change, I needed the wake up call.  I needed to travel and be my version of a World Traveler for once.  Granted I had been to Mexico and Hawaii  3 times  in the past 11 years, which made me think I wanted a Tropical life.  But to travel half way around the world to discover this lesson.  Well that is really something!  Isn’t it?  😉

I don’t love being alone.  Although I enjoy it for a while.  I prefer having a partner to share my  life with.

I also found out I much prefer eating with someone else.  All alone for  every meal is rather uncanny, lonely and boring.

 

nice walk and lovely views

 

Being a woman alone  in a foreign country is to me  not exactly my favorite way to travel.   So I learned alot of things about myself on this trip.

So if  I did this to get closer to God, to have a spiritual vacation.  Do you think I did?

I did find out about myself and that is spiritual in itself.  Since my idea of a spiritual trip is to merge completely with my Higher Self and experience complete and total awakening.  Then no I did not yet experience that.  But I did experience other reality checks!

Maybe not as profound and as wonderful as Enlightenment,  Not yet!  But that doesn’t mean I am gonna completely give up on it.  However, what I do think I learned is to just take it easy, be myself and completely enjoy the ride to get there!

So high Ho Silver!  Yippee~ Life is good and I am one step closer to realizing the final Dream and yes, that elusive Awakening everyone talks about,  but never actually experiences.   Honestly I don’t know a single soul that has actually experienced  the kind of awakening I am   talking about,   glimpse yes…..I have glimpse of awakened state in and out frequently, but  in complete  totality yet , I don’t know anyone that is there fully everyday.

Do you?

xox  Love and Light~

Ms Jewel Rhajarani ~over and out

At Yellow Flower cafe-lovely little organic place

Posted October 17, 2010 by rhajaranijewel in Uncategorized

Paradise is within   Leave a comment

 

paradise is within

 

Ah!  It has been a very interesting experience here in the Island of the Gods.  I am finishing my inner work here and am ready to leave.  After being in Bali for 6 weeks I have to admit I am over this ongoing search in my Soul for trying to find paradise on Earth.  I guess I have come to understand  that heaven on Earth is in my  Heart.  As much as I have looked and longed for it to manifest, I realize now that it is all inside. Within Me, You and I.  It is a state of mind, we create where ever we are.

So I am ready to call this a wash, a cleanse…..Mother’s downpour of watery love.  It is rainy and wet out right now and it all seems appropriate I should feel this watery feeling coming on.  Today I had to call the plumber to come and fix a dripping leak in the bathroom here…..water water everywhere……and it will be rainy when i return to the Northwest. 

I am already working on a new blog for  when I return.  On to the next subject matter after I am done with Bali.   FOOD!  Food, healthy, gourmet, glorious food!  One of my favorite subjects 2nd only to GOD!

I  have  gotten to this feeling of being total done here and ready to go forth. I am ready to move on, but still have 5 more days left. So I am just enjoying these last few lazy days….  It’ll go fast.  I am going to have to find a few more interesting things to do that don’t cost much.

 

My meal at 'Clear' Green papaya salad, "rawviolis and crispy tempeh

 

The weather has gotten cooler (a tiny bit!) and cloudy, now raining  and today I  stayed inside all day.  Yesterday on my birthday however, I did a long  walk, one last time through the main village of Ubud and took over 200 pictures.  So this post today is going to be about those photos.

I had a   nice  dinner at an organic  raw style restaurant I had heard about called ‘Clear’  had thought it would be a nice way to spend my birthday, and the last Friday night in town.

 

'Clear Restaurant in Bali

 

I loved just walking and getting some really cool pictures of things I never thought to photograph before.  There are even things I am wishing I had taken pictures of that I didn’t for one reason or other.  Mostly out of politeness I didn’t take a snapshot.

Today I am resting.  Thinking.  Too much thinking i think!  😉

I am just having a down day with my computer and the new blog site.

 

table at 'Clear'

Table at Clear where I enjoyed my Birthday dinner

 

I needed to create a way to start making a living when I return to the West.  One thing I have been creating for about these past 6 months is a personal chef service and cooking classes.  When I return I am going to photo all the  meals I create  and write out all the recipes and have a blog about it.   I have been thinking about this for  a few months  now……This has been one of my real passions and since I am a total foodie it makes sense for me to create a website and blog out of it.  The new blog is already created here:  Have a peek if you like, but the actual blogging doesn’t start til I get back to a real kitchen with my chef’s knifes and vitamix!

http://organic-gourmet-foodie.com

 

 

and the other one I had been working on for a while before  even coming here to Bali is:

http://www.organicgourmet.spruz.com

 

 

So this is my new project once I get back and get settled in.  As well as creating something with the art business.

In the meantime I have enjoyed all of this time to be alone and meditate, dance, eat, do yoga, walk…. take pictures, and most importantly connect with the Divine Gods of this Land.

Now it is time to get back  down to business, and doing something to earn a living!   And  since the powers that be are not yet ready it seems to transform this place, I still have to figure out a way to pay for myself in 3-d.

So I would say I am now a bit preoccupied with thinking about how I will proceed.

 

On my walk through the market

On my walk through the market

 

In the meantime I still go through this internal transformation, feeling it very physically now.  It continues to  work on me day and night until the final times of  this old 3-d –  I am here and then  onward to where I go from here only Heaven knows how and when.

Only time will tell, but I do know I got over my dream in living in a tropical country while being here in Bali.  I  have enjoyed this, but I am a west coast person born and bred California Girl!    I am fine to live in the moderate  climate of the Pacific northwest to give up the hot, clammy nights and days of the Isle of the Gods as much as I have enjoyed the time I had to spend here.    I guess I would have to say the biggest lesson I have learned is that one does not need to go to  the land of Paradise and temples in order to commune with God.   ( I knew this already but I had to see for myself)  The Temple is within. I feel it   is no longer  needed for humanity  to have an ashram, a temple, or to need  a priest, a guru  or a holy man to take you to the truth of what is inside. This is my experience over this past year anyway,  Seeking the Ashram, the Temple the holy land.   To find out   I AM THAT TEMPLE  I  seek, it is  inside of me, you and all of us.  WE are it!  IT is the Re-Membering of that that is so hard to recognize for us all.

 

The offering on my table at Warung Simple

 

Of course unless one feels that is what will help them to find it, having a Guru or a Teacher is sometimes what one needs, if you think it so.

I feel those times are over when we need something outside our self to find the Truth we seek.

Truly we don’t need all that,  the time of churches, priests and temples is over for humankind.  We have the Temple, the Guru right inside.  GOD is everywhere right inside the Heart.     So  is my  life long dream of living in Hawaii, Costa Rica, Bali  this is all over now, finally, like an old love affair I hung on to way too long, one I had to prove to myself was no longer needed for my highest growth.

I realize this Paradise of Heaven on Earth  Dream is inside of ME!  Where it has been all along!  Like in the book  ‘ The alchemist’  I read on the plane over here…… I had to go on this  journey along way from home to find HOME is where the heart is………So,  I can  now let go of  the seeking out there for answers and holy places to be.  Been there and done  it, all that seeking, the longing, the dreaming!

WE are the ONE and it is all of US together that is going to birth the new reality.  As soon as we can stop focusing on the old system and imagine  our highest vision.   WE can  bring in the new way of the heart chakra, and  the sooner WE can all align with it inside,  we will  bring this to fruition.   All I do for sure  know is I am a vessel for the download and it does not matter where on Earth I place this physical body as long as it is somewhere where I can be comfortable and secure.

And so it is….amen

for  a glimpse of:

PARADISE   click here

Posted October 16, 2010 by rhajaranijewel in Uncategorized

Libra Birthday Celebration   3 comments

 

Black and White

 

I am having my own sweet Libra Birthday celebration Meditation/yoga session  at the Yoga Studio/Temple  I rented in Bali.   I have one  week more here  before flying Homeward bound!

Wow, I feel this has been a lifetime already of lessons, insights and divine reckoning.

It has taken me deep into the heart of the inner workings of  balance of the Material and Heavenly realms of the Soul.   I AM.

I cannot say enough for this Balancing act.  This is the lesson of Bali for me.

50% heaven  50% hell or if you like better  50% Material  50% Spiritual

This is where I have come to understand this religion here.  This physical reality as well.  It is really all about where I focus.

One goes outside here and can see either hell or heaven.  It is both here very obviously.  It is such a trip.  This is Libra.  This is the whole  name of the game of being in the human condition actually.    Doesn’t it really seem so?

I am finishing my sojourn with the Divine powers that be in Bali.  Within Me I have become Myself.   This  is what I have found here.  Just Me.  Always here, me. Myself and I.     The True Self within ME.

The merging  of the old little self that is also  me and the  integration  of these old patterns, blocks and limitations was the reason I had to see this about myself.  The emptying out of this here.  I cannot get rid of that part of me,  It is part of the physical world I live in.  It is everywhere I am, this is also part of me.

 

Black and white to remind us-Balance in eveything

 

Also to accept that I am part of a Material reality and to balance my Spiritual Self with the Material reality,  The fact I am an American woman and part of the American dream of Prosperity and Wealth and having what we need.   Also part of something else that exists on this earth as well-  I have to absorb it,  being poor or living in these  conditions of  poverty, lack and limitation.  IT is all  a part of  Me, this is for sure what I found out.

It is lucky I did not chose India for this realization,  which was at first here I was going to go.  Bali was enough of a reality check for this Goddess  Comfort Queen!  Oh my goodness-Venus fluff Libra Soul of a 56 year old princess  I AM!  To own also the other side of what all this is.  the Opposite of all of that….

For sure I think this trip was just what I needed to see  how ‘western’ I really am
inside-  I love that about myself come to realize! I also send love to the part that is  eastern and completely the dichotomy  of westernized!   That does exist too I can testify!

 

Yin and Yang-Libra

 

I AM what I AM and that is what I came to understand.  All of it……Also what  I have come to the understanding of is something my Mom used to say and I quote. “If you can’t beat em, join em!”    I realize that there really is no running away from the
world as much as I would have liked to.  I am here to stay~  At least til the
Grand Finale anyway!  I might as well own every part  of it and welcome it!

I came( to  planet earth)  for the long haul I guess.  No checking out early.   Or becoming a Monk!  Have to be part of the whole thing.
So I now know I have to create money, abundance and a source of income that
allows me the life I Love.  It is that simple.  I cannot be a renunciate- God
knows that about me  and it is OK.

That time in my life is done. Over, finished!  Interesting but it took a year
of doing this to understand that I am just a normal human!  ( well, kinda
normalish)
Dark, light and everything inbetween!  Shadow and Angel all in One.

I cannot escape it.  I chose it, this life on planet earth in a woman’s body
and now I will live it out until I exit this reality.  Yes, I would have liked
to have been a holy man.  But I am not.  So that is that…
Instead I choose to be a Whole Woman!
I am a  Divine Being of Light, I AM the Princess  of my Own Life,  a beautiful Comfort Queen -Gourmet Organic Foodie!   This is all  for  sure a  part of Me, and I have needs and desires in a material reality and I have to fulfill.  I do not enjoy  poverty one little
bit.  So I learned this much about myself as if I didn’t already know that……. nothing wrong with  it at all to get a reminder about how I prefer to be.  At least I tried  to let go my material needs and focus on higher matters and I  did it.  giving it my  best shot at the idea  of letting  go of the material
reality.

 

Shiva-Shakti-Balance the Dark and the Light

 

Now I realize that this is it……..I am here in this  until the fat lady sings
as they say!

So today marks the day I left Eugene one year ago on my spiritual quest.  To
find God, to give my life to God I guess,  I did.  It is done.  My life is God
and I am still a material girl in a material world, ( for now anyway  it seems 😉

Can’t live with it and can’t live  without  ir is what I learned in Bali.  I cannot
go without money in this world.

I like my  comforts too much. Why give that up?  I can still honor the Divine while sipping Champagne or  staying at a 5 star hotel.  (Although i would prefer an eco-lodge, probably)    Forget  traveling on the cheap and being in a situation of poverty, cheap hostels, clammy sheets, or funky living conditions, yuck, not for me.     No way  Jose! That was the life of a day gone by.  No more is that a way to live in this  time.  Impossible  in the world the way it is now, and I choose not  to be in that condition as long as I am in a human body.
So that is the lesson after all.  I am a Goddess.

I never wish to travel cheaply again.  I am abundance in motion in the world of
materialism-  That is my affirmation!

Bummer to traveling on the cheap- It is not a lifestyle I wish to adopt ever,
ever.

But at least I checked it out.  So that I could understand it.  Have a glimpse
into it.  TO see with my own eyes what that is truly about.  NO it is not ok for
anybody.  Especially not me.

So today I celebrate an ending and a new beginning.  divine Mother Temple right inside of me.   To Be Abundance and to Glorify Goddess right here in this Human Body!   Re-birthday!  Happy Birthday ME!!!   Love-Love-Love  I AM ONE. ♥♥♥

♥♥♥

♥♥♥

Posted October 15, 2010 by rhajaranijewel in Uncategorized